An Early Morning Crisis
I got up yesterday morning about 6:15 to go to the bathroom, and while I was there began blowing my nose. Almost immediately, my nose began to bleed profusely. I have never bled like that in my life, out of my nose or any other orifice, or when I've cut myself carving food. This blood just came in great quantities, and it just wouldn't stop, no matter what I did.
I couldn't plug it up, and the blood was coming so quickly from my nose that it would overflow and I found that I was swallowing mouthfuls of blood. I would release the pressure and the blood would come gushing out of my nose, and I was thinking, "Hummm. Maybe this is the morning I'm going to leave. I may bleed to death of a nosebleed right here in my bathroom."
There I am, with blood going all over everything, and there I am desperately trying to wipe this up, because the Virgo in me is saying, "Even if you die this morning you really don't want people to walk in and see a room filled with spattered blood." And so I also pulled on my swimsuit so that the poor dears wouldn't have to look at my gross, naked, aging body.
But as the bleeding just wouldn't stop I was beginning to come to the conclusion that anyone else would have called 911. But I had clearly decided that I was just going to lie down and bleed to death quietly and beautifully in my shower stall. And so as best I could, with one hand always having to be up to my nose to stanch the flow, I wrote a little note to my brother Jim:
"Hey, Jim, 6:45, and I think that I'm bleeding to death of a nosebleed, and I just wanted to let you know that everything's OK. I'm really looking forward to leaving. And gee, you have been the most wonderful and terrific brother I could have had. Love, John." With a little PS, "To whoever finds my body, my brother's cell phone number is . . . blah blah blah blah."
Now through all of this I was very amused that I was spending so much time, as usual, on details trying to anticipate the feelings of others, who would find me there devoid of blood like a vampire had been sucking on my neck all night. So I got everything in order and things were clean and I turned the water on and laid my head on a towel so I would be comfortable while I was gradually going to sleep. And of course what happened is that the blood gradually stopped flowing and I realized I wasn't going to get to leave, so I got up and tidied things up and went on with my day. Ageing in the desert: When you're trying to leave, you seize every apparent opportunity that comes along, even if it's choking on a steak or dying of a nosebleed in your bathroom.
I couldn't plug it up, and the blood was coming so quickly from my nose that it would overflow and I found that I was swallowing mouthfuls of blood. I would release the pressure and the blood would come gushing out of my nose, and I was thinking, "Hummm. Maybe this is the morning I'm going to leave. I may bleed to death of a nosebleed right here in my bathroom."
There I am, with blood going all over everything, and there I am desperately trying to wipe this up, because the Virgo in me is saying, "Even if you die this morning you really don't want people to walk in and see a room filled with spattered blood." And so I also pulled on my swimsuit so that the poor dears wouldn't have to look at my gross, naked, aging body.
But as the bleeding just wouldn't stop I was beginning to come to the conclusion that anyone else would have called 911. But I had clearly decided that I was just going to lie down and bleed to death quietly and beautifully in my shower stall. And so as best I could, with one hand always having to be up to my nose to stanch the flow, I wrote a little note to my brother Jim:
"Hey, Jim, 6:45, and I think that I'm bleeding to death of a nosebleed, and I just wanted to let you know that everything's OK. I'm really looking forward to leaving. And gee, you have been the most wonderful and terrific brother I could have had. Love, John." With a little PS, "To whoever finds my body, my brother's cell phone number is . . . blah blah blah blah."
Now through all of this I was very amused that I was spending so much time, as usual, on details trying to anticipate the feelings of others, who would find me there devoid of blood like a vampire had been sucking on my neck all night. So I got everything in order and things were clean and I turned the water on and laid my head on a towel so I would be comfortable while I was gradually going to sleep. And of course what happened is that the blood gradually stopped flowing and I realized I wasn't going to get to leave, so I got up and tidied things up and went on with my day. Ageing in the desert: When you're trying to leave, you seize every apparent opportunity that comes along, even if it's choking on a steak or dying of a nosebleed in your bathroom.
posted by Old Timer at 1:19 PM
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